Abraham Lincoln,
may his name be blessed,
has risen from his place of rest
fearing that America is sinking
beneath the weight of Third World Debt
and the moral obligation
to prevent the precious sacrificial oil
falling into the hands of the Ungodly.

“Fellow Americans!
Hear the Word of the Lord!
Eleven score and seventeen years ago,
our fathers brought forth
upon this continent a new nation:
conceived in liberty, and dedicated
to the proposition
that all men are created equal.

Do not allow the world
to interfere with your electoral campaigns
when you come to elect a new President.

But be fair!

Do not allow yourselves
to interfere with their electoral campaigns
when they come to elect their new Leaders
in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and Syria.

Respect cultural differences.

If you would have yours respected,
then you must show respect.

Lead by example.
They should respect your casting of votes
and your ballot box.

You must respect their casting of bombs.

Of the people
by the people
for the people!

Ours not to reason why!
Ours but to Live
(and let Die).”


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